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NGLND XPX

Ian Hutson
 
5.0 (3)
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NGLND XPX ("England Expects")

Book information

Full Title
NGLND XPX
Format
  • eBook
  • Paperback
Rated for Readers
Rated PG (not necessarily suitable for children)

Book Description

NGLND XPX (or “England Expects”) is a pudding-trolley of sweetmeats and savoury treats for your brain-gland. We recommend a spoonful of everything. It’s all dreadfully civilised fun, and not at all serious. The science is improbable, the history inaccurate, the plots farcical and the fiction splendid.

Within these pages are old people in space, conscripted into the English military (and we have no idea how we’re ever going to get the universe to smell fresh and clean again). The truth about what really happened during the Industrial Revolution is revealed, including full details of that nasty accident with the first half-dozen steam trains, most of the bankers and all of the lawyers. We have mill-owner’s sons rebelling with a spot of ballet, mill-owner’s daughters wantonly playing the cello and mill-owner’s wives demonstrating the noble art of fainting into a small glass of something medicinal from the Orient.

The obligatory migration of the human species away from planet Earth is achieved in über-cheap Virgin Model-T spacecraft - available in any colour you like, so long as you like Virgin red. On high days and holidays we have Her Majesty The Queen meeting, greeting and sipping tea on the lawn with some very nice, very polite aliens, while in her darker moments under threat from rogue comets Her Majesty slips into a pair of rubber gloves and washes the dishes for Europe. The UFOs involved are classic flying saucers and the robots are cute, especially the short one with the trowel and the teddy bear who has to hurriedly invent some ten commandments for the human species (and he only manages four and a half, but they’re good ones). Even the very few zombies involved are extraordinarily polite, upper-crust and quite out of their depth without the help of a maid.

If you love rolling around in parts of the English language that haven’t seen the light of day for a long while, and if you don’t mind the occasional dozy Labrador dog throwing up in his goldfish-bowl space-suit helmet, then this is the book for you. Chin-chin, tickettyboo.

CONTENTS

The Model-T Virgin
Begging Your Pardon, My Lord, But Cook’s Been Eaten Again
Robots Knitting With Rubber Needles
Je Pense It’s All Going Very Bien
Footloose, En Pas De Basque
iG-0-D
In Which Mr Cadwallader Shampoos His Parrot In The Rain Using Some Very Dated Popular Science
Diary Of A National Service Chap
Blood-Curdling Screams And The Whitworth Screw-Thread
The Day The Earth Took Tea

Reviews


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User reviews

3 reviews

Overall rating 
 
5.0
Is the book engaging / enticing? 
 
5.0  (3)
Can you relate to the characters and/or subject matter? 
 
5.0  (3)
Can you easily follow the scenes/chapters? Are they descriptive enough? 
 
5.0  (3)
Would you recommend this book? 
 
5.0  (3)
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Overall rating 
 
5.0
Is the book engaging / enticing? 
 
5.0
Can you relate to the characters and/or subject matter? 
 
5.0
Can you easily follow the scenes/chapters? Are they descriptive enough? 
 
5.0
Would you recommend this book? 
 
5.0

There’s something about British humor that always tickles me so I was hoping NGLAND XPX would not disappoint. Not only was I not disappointed, I was in fact delighted with the ten short stories within. Each story, in its own way, spoke volumes about the author’s view of our current status as a society. With his tongue firmly planted in his cheek, he delivers page after page of honest (I dare say to a fault) insights about the state of our “civilization.” However, Hutson’s truth is not told spitefully. Not at all. Because married within the lines of satire are glimpses of hope and possibility, often in the form of an animal or mechanical device. This humanity, which we humans are often lacking, can still be found in our world (and the future) if we look hard enough. This is not a book that you will be able to read while multitasking. Hutson’s writing style requires your full and undivided attention, but I promise your attention will be rewarded. Highly recommend to those looking to give their brains (as well as their hearts and their funny bones) a workout. And, as for the title, I do believe, Mr. Hutson, that you have done your duty.

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Loved It
Overall rating 
 
5.0
Is the book engaging / enticing? 
 
5.0
Can you relate to the characters and/or subject matter? 
 
5.0
Can you easily follow the scenes/chapters? Are they descriptive enough? 
 
5.0
Would you recommend this book? 
 
5.0

Within these pages are old people in space, conscripted into the English military (and we have no idea how we're ever going to get the universe to smell fresh and clean again) Ian's imagination and wonderful facility for language are a real delight!!!Great British humor. Fun Fun !!! to read 

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Brilliant humour
Overall rating 
 
5.0
Is the book engaging / enticing? 
 
5.0
Can you relate to the characters and/or subject matter? 
 
5.0
Can you easily follow the scenes/chapters? Are they descriptive enough? 
 
5.0
Would you recommend this book? 
 
5.0

"NGLND XPX" by Ian Hutson is a very entertaining collection of humorous short stories, some absurd and off the wall, others more satirical and tongue in cheek. The subjects of the stories range from science fiction and futuristic ideas to more traditional British and political themes. As a non-British person living in the UK much of the stories that were rooted in persiflage and caricature of the contemporary Britain were particularly funny for me but even if you do not know who Boris or Blair are, you will be able to appreciate the jokes and ideas behind the stories. Immigration and the future of humanity are some of the more serious subjects, Androids and Zombies are fleshing out the collection of original scenarios and ideas with some very cleverly written puns. This is very enjoyable and a pleasant way to spend a few hours. It is non-offensive and easy to read. 

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